Do radioactive cats have 18 half lives ? If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter ? If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from ? When a cow laughs, does milk come up its nose ? Why do they put braille on number pads of the drive up bank teller machines ? How did a fool and his money ever get together to begin with ? If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they stick Teflon on the pan ? How do they get deer to cross the road in front of that little yellow sign ? What is another word for thesaurus ? What do they use to ship styrofoam ? Why is abbreviaton such a long word ? Why is there an expiration date on sour cream ? Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets ? How do you know when its time to tune your bagpipes ? Is it true that cannibals won't eat clowns because they taste funny ? When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn ? Does fuzzy logic tickle ? Why do they call it a TV set if you only get one ? What was the best thing before sliced bread ? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle ? Is it possible to be totally partial ? If a book about failure doesn't sell, is it a success ? If the funeral procession is at night, do they drive with their lights off ? If a Stealth bomber crashes in the forest, will it make a sound ? If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent ? If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages ? When it rains, how come sheep don't shrink ? Should vegetarians eat animal crackers ? Do cemetary workers prefer the graveyard shift ? Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites ? Why do they call it a hot water heater ? I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant. Why is it that the easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement for it? Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to? Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?" Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt." Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address?